Anna-Leah Gebühr (GAPP 2015 alum) is a philanthropy fundraiser and researcher, currently pursuing studies at the School of Advanced Studies in the Social Sciences (EHESS) in Paris and at Heidelberg University. She is passionate about directing resources to where they are needed most and has previously worked with UNO-Flüchtlingshilfe (Germany for UNHCR) and UK Youth. Anna-Leah holds a BA in War Studies from King’s College London and an MPhil in Education & Politics from Cambridge University.
Ella and Anna-Leah: A Friendship Across the Atlantic
How did you feel about welcoming a student from Germany into your home, and in what ways did you prepare for Anna-Leah’s stay? What hopes or expectations did you have going into it?
Ella: Anna and I had already met through our show choir group, and I didn’t know her well, but I thought she was cool! So I was pretty enthusiastic about having her stay with us. My family was lucky enough to have a spare bedroom in our basement, which we set up as Anna’s room. I think I was a tiny bit worried about having another person in the house since I was fairly introverted at the time, but clearly it all worked out wonderfully!
What was it like sharing your home, school, and daily life with a student from another culture? Were there any surprises or challenges?
Ella: We didn’t have any classes together, but we biked to and from school together. Often Anna, my sister, and I would play games outside after dinner. We were pretty good about going to our own separate spaces when we needed alone time. I realized that some of the everyday parts of my life were not so everyday after all. On Anna’s first day with us, I showed her around the house and said something along the lines of “here’s the microwave, you know how to use that.” We have since bonded over the Infamous Microwave Incident of 2005, Anna’s consequently microwave-less childhood, and the overabundance of buttons on American microwaves.
Can you walk us through what a typical day looked like for you during the exchange program?
Anna- Leah: On a typical day with my host family, us children would get up, sit down at the kitchen counter with breakfast and perhaps a book and because none of us were morning people, we took a while to dethaw. We’d bike to school, and then I’d have a normal day of classes – some I’d have to take to keep up with school at home, like Math and Spanish, but some were especially exciting because they weren’t offered at my school in Germany, like choir and theatre class. Sometimes after school I’d go to my ballet class in town, but most days Ella and I would bike back home, have dinner with the whole family and then watch 30 Rock together. The Shively’s live close to the Bluffs in La Crosse, so often we’d get out after school for a walk/mini hike or read on the porch.
How did the two of you bond during the year, and what were some of the memorable moments you shared together?
Ella: Anna and I spent many hours sitting on the front porch just chatting or working on our own creative projects in companionable silence. After all the grand adventures we’ve had together as adults, we still talk about those front porch days. Besides getting a tiny bit lost on our first hike together, one of my favorite experiences with Anna was staying at a family friend’s cabin in northern Wisconsin. We slept in bunk beds, roasted Anna’s first s’more, and paddled around the lake for hours. The night we arrived at the cabin, a dog ran out into the road, resulting in an unexpected brake check. All of us were buckled in safely, but the mint crème pie in the back seat was not so lucky. That pie tasted even better after we scraped it out of the air vents, and we still rehash that story every time we see each other. (The dog was fine, by the way.)
What’s one experience or event from your time in the exchange that you will never forget? How did your host family contribute to making that moment special?
Anna- Leah: There were quite a few! I’ll go with the first day with my host family: I had already been in the US for a few weeks, but staying somewhere different, and while the adults were discussing some things in the kitchen Ella, her younger sister Ava and I were sitting in the living room, on the floor and (for no apparent reason other than the minds of 15-year-olds) started singing Let it Go, from Frozen. What followed was a pretty eventful day during which we went hiking, promptly got a little lost in the woods, and after finding our way back to home, laying on the trampoline and watching the fireflies. It was awesome, and I felt right at home!
Can you describe a moment or event that really stood out to you during the exchange, and why it was significant?
Ella: I remember Anna observing that “there are flags everywhere” in the United States. Throughout my childhood, the American flag was such a common motif in my environment that I didn’t really notice it until she pointed it out.
Looking back, how would you compare your time as a student at a US school to your experience at school in Germany?
Anna- Leah: It was so different! I came to the US at the height of High School Musical fame, and I remember being surprised that the tables in the cafeteria were actually round, with the chairs attached. And while most might say – well, it can’t be like HSM though, people didn’t break into song randomly – I’d just have to answer that they missed out not spending their lunches in the music hallway of Central High. The classes were quite a lot different too, but some of the most jarring differences were things like shooter drills and having a police officer stationed at the school. This is not to scare anyone away; it was just a very different concept of the space of school than what I experienced in Germany.
In what ways did being immersed in an English-speaking environment and interacting with Americans improve your language skills?
Anna- Leah: I remember shockingly little about how I learned English! I do remember being much quieter my first few weeks and then realizing that if I wanted to make friends I would have to eventually talk – so I did. I definitely gained most of my confidence speaking a foreign language through the semester abroad, and I probably wouldn’t have applied to universities in England if it had not been for that experience. Now, English is an everyday part of my life.
Do you still keep in touch and how has your relationship evolved since Anna-Leah returned to Germany?
Ella: We are sitting together right now! We call every few weeks (thank you, WhatsApp) and take turns flying across the Atlantic to visit each other. We’ve both grown up quite a bit, but that core friendship still feels as strong as ever.
Anna- Leah: Ella is presently sitting next to me – it’s our 10-year reunion! Our relationship has evolved a lot as we have grown up, seeing each other move from parent’s houses to dorms to our own apartments. We’ve supported each other during college (and grad school) applications, job worries and a myriad of other things. We try to see each other every year, trading off continents, and apart from the pandemic year, we have mostly managed to do that! I’ve also seen her sister and her grandparents in various places when they travel to Europe (and in the US of course) and I try to see High School friends whenever we’re in La Crosse. Otherwise, thankful for social media and easy long distance phone calls!
What advice would you give to students considering a GAPP long-term exchange?
Anna- Leah: There will probably be a moment where the idea of going abroad for so long, alone, feels ludicrous. For me, it happened as the airplane took off, I just remember thinking: “What have I done?” What I would say is that the experience is worth that moment. Some years ago, I was travelling to the US to meet Ella and my host family, and the airport passport control was very chaotic. Next to me, waiting in line next to me was a girl who was about the age I had been when I left for my GAPP exchange – she was crying a little, and proceeded to tell me that she was going for her semester abroad to the US. I reckon she was having that moment, worried about it all. So, I told her that I was on the way to visit my host family again, in this home away from home that I found. It is worth the courage, and growth it requires – I hope she would agree.
